Wednesday, January 18, 2012


Quite to my surprise, my little brother is now married.

Marriage isn't high on the list of surprises. You might not be all that surprised to be surprised by, say, a call from an old friend or a party on your birthday that you ostensibly didn't expect. Marriages typically do not surprise, especially outside of Nevada. But they'd been trying for months, with all kinds of bureaucratic hassle. They were initially told "go away, foreigner", a message suddenly common around here too. They tried different cities and considered going all the way to Canada or America. One day, they found out that foreigners actually can get married in China, but with the right "procedure". I figured this would involve such extensive bribery and paperwork that it wouldn't happen. But, they're quite shrewd and agile out there, and not long after learning the procedure, it was time for wedding bells to ring in Nanjing.

Yeah! You westerers never saw wedding photos like that before! My little brother got married in a kung fu suit!! Fuck yeah!

I must admit the locals here have some good wedding costumes too. Conventional American wedding attire looks pretty dull by comparison. We need a revolution in American fashion dress, which could begin with you - yes, you - wearing a kung fu suit to your next American wedding. You'll really make a statement, and absolutely nobody will try to fuck with you. Or wear full Styrian regalia. You'll also stand out, and you might get elected governor.

Here I am in my Sun Tzu outfit in Beijing. I tried to crash a wedding with these two friendly people. I think it was some big government official getting married. My lawyer says I might be able to return to China in another life, if I can absolutely provide that I was never me.

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