Vos Domestic Product

Speaking the local language here in Argentina will make it a lot harder for me to speak Spanish next time I’m in Mexico.

The word “you” is pretty common in most languages, even if you subdivide “you” if it’s formal vs. informal, plural vs. singular, male vs. female, weekend vs. weekday, tall vs. short, cloudy vs. sunny, or clever vs. not. I was thus disappointed to learn that I was using "you" incorrectly while here. The second-person singular is “vos” instead of “tu” like almost everywhere else that speaks Spanish. It’s also conjugated differently.

It's nonetheless way better than the German approach. 

I had this conversation with my host (entirely in Spanish, mostly translated):

I’m going to get an uber.

You’re going to fuck an uber?

No. Get. Coger.

Coger means “to fuck” here.

I’m sure it means “get” in Mexico and Spain and can be used to get a cab or rideshare, but I’ll try to blend in by following local rules. I learned this from my host, Victoria, seen here with a smile as usual:

Argentina is famous for its beef. Paradoxically, they don’t typically ask how you want it cooked and serve it well done. This is also popular in Brazil and many Asian countries. This is one way I’m not even gonna try to blend with the locals. Argentinian beef is a gross domestic product when so gruesomely overcooked.   

I horrified my host by telling her I put empanadas in my toaster. Makes sense to me. They're the right size. They get crispy on the outside and warm on the inside. 

Palta is avocado (aguacate elsewhere). There are many other examples of different words down here, but their management of -illa/o is most entertaining:

Strawberries – called “fresas” in most other Spanish-speaking countries – are called “frutillas” here. It means “diminutive cute little fruit” or something vaguely like that. Local strawberries are appropriate if you're thirsty. 

Butter - called "mantequilla" in most other Spanish-speaking countries - is called "manteca" here. So, Argentina considers strawberries relatively cute, unlike butter. I'm cool with that.