Germons

No blog updates of late, as all language production neurons are devoted to a grant app due on Oct 9. Between that and learning German, Broca's Blvd. is the hot spot upstairs.

I was graced with two houseguests yesterday. I opened the door and found two well groomed, smiling young men wearing dark pants, very clean white dress shirts, and ties with thick diagonal lines that ran the spectrum from medium to dark blue. The taller one had a dramatic light blue stripe in the middle, and I marveled at his boldness. I bet he swapped it out for a less declarative tie before he returned to the temple.

I couldn't understand their greeting, but didn't need to. The apparel oft proclaims the Mor-man. As did their white teeth, skin, and demeanor. Hm. What to do. Dammit! Wasn't prepared! Can we take a time out, so I can think of how to fuck with you? No. You are looking at me expectantly. I could just say I don't speak German, but that's no fun. Hm. Say something. "Hello, Thank you for coming. I speak almost no German. Please, who are you?"

Great delaying move! They started telling me, more slowly, about themselves. Don't care, already know. Hm. Hm. How do I tell them about the flying spaghetti monster? Rarely was I so frustrated about my abysmal German. I could say flying spaghetti hound, and wondered if that would be the genesis of a new faction of FSM. Then I realized I had to talk again. I still couldn't think of anything. Maybe just give up. "Thank you. I am happy to meet you. Harrrrr!!! I am very sorry, but I do not understand everything. You are on a mission?"

"Yes. We do this-"
"Harrrrrr!!!!"

Pause.

"We do this as (part) of our (service)?"
"Oh," I said. "And you work for the Harrrrr!!! of Germany?"
Pause.
"Do you work for the Church of Germany? You are Lutherans? I am sorry. I speak almost Harrrrr!!! no German."
They responded, and I periodically nodded and Harred. I tried not to be overly dramatic with the Harrr, as if I considered it a valid interjection. At the end, I said Harrrr!!! very enthusiastically and smiled.
Pause.
Pause.
"Well, thank you for visiting me. Please return soon, my friends!" I shook their hands while looking each in the eye and smiling.

They left.